matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
