well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
