If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
