fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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