my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
