Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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