Me. At least after what I've been through.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
