Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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