Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
