You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
