hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
