he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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