woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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