the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
