Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
