she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
