He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
