You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
