if i died would you start the facebook group?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I had to cum in my sink.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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