Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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