in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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