He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
