eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i believe in u and ur pee
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
