He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
