you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
