There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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