That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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