I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
