so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
