I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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