she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
