i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
