My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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