Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I will pee on everything he values.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
