Moan for me like Helen Keller
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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