porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
