Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
