I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
