There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
