Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
