North Korea, Best Korea!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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