We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
there is puke in my bra ... again
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
