im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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