you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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