Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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