"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
