I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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