Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
