i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
