no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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